Excuse the presumption, but we do don't we?

We gossip about things it's not safe for us to say openly. We gossip with people we trust. We gossip with ourselves.

Gossip is rooted in needs not met. And needs not met seldom go away, so gossip tends to repeat.

Gossip starts with talking about interactions we've had with others: having a conversation, witnessing an action, reading something by someone we know.

Gossip is about real things, particularly feelings we have experienced: "X said Y. Made my blood boil."

Gossip feels good because we can speak our mind. It's releasing. Temporarily at least.

Gossip burgeons in Eric Byrne's Parent-Parent or Child-Child interactions.

But crucially, gossip signals opportunities for change and can help develop coalitions of the like-minded.

If we can pay attention to these signals, speak more as Eric's Adult and (with a little courage) gradually engage the people we gossip about, then maybe that change can start to happen.